Anniversary
by scarlett-hued-shimako
Summary: It's the one year anniversary of Sei's and Shimako's becoming soeurs. But not recieving a word from Sei, Shimako wonders if Sei even remembers. My take on the complex realtionship of the White Roses. Slight Shimako/Sei


**A/N: I guess the standard disclaimer is in order. I do not own Maria-sama ga Miteru nor any of its characters. Reviews are more than welcomed, seeing as they became sort of a an addiction. So if you want to be an enabler and support my addiction, drop a review and tell me what you think about it.**

Anniversary

Shimako Toudou took a deep breath and told herself to stop being so sentimental. There was nothing to be gained from having a breakdown during class, except for humiliation and unwanted questions. Not to mention the outrageous rumors that only busy-bodied high school girls seem to be able to come up with would spread like wildfire, making Shimako even more of an outsider than she already was.

It would be even worst for Noriko, who had only been her petite soeur for a few days, because they would most likely place the blame on her, epically when the Newspaper Club got their hands on it. Shimako could just imagine the headline: "Discontent among the White Roses: Noriko's Rebellion"

She could giggle at the thought, if it didn't seem unseemly to erupt into giggles in the middle of class. Then the headline would be "Insanity: A trait among the White Roses?"

Shaking her head of the thought, Shimako knew Noriko would never cause her any unnecessary distress, if anything, she was the one who stressed Noriko out, seeing as the younger girl would always act as some sort of buffer between Shimako and the outside world, causing her to wonder who was really the Onee-sama in the relationship. No, it wasn't that particular member of the white rose family that had Shimako distraught.

_Sei_

So what if today was the one year anniversary of her and Sei's becoming soeurs, and she hadn't heard a single thing from her Onee-sama? It wasn't like Sei would remember anyways.

_You're not being fair._

Shimako took another deep breath and allowed her conscious to win this round. Sei wouldn't have forgotten; it was ingrain in both of their memories like a lost love or a first kiss because that was the day they had found someone who understood them, someone who comprehended and accepted the fact that they needed one hand guarded over their emotions and the other one keeping the outside world at bay.

But that was the problem, Shimako thought with a sigh: they kept each other at bay as well. It was one thing to understand someone, and it was a totally different thing to care about someone.

_Stop being unfair. She does care about you and you, her._

Okay that was the wrong choice of word, Shimako thought with an eye roll, one that would be given to a busy-bodied mother who had just asked her teenage daughter for the hundredth time to cover her bosom. What Shimako was meaning was that Sei never found it necessary to interfere with her life, and at first she was okay with it, but when her envious eye came across Rei's and Yoshino's relationship, one of warmth and familiarity, she realized that was what she wanted.

Okay, not exactly that. She doubted she could ever be that feisty and she doubted Sei could ever be that motherly, and not to mention the fact that no amount of kindness or sympathy was ever going to make Shimako wear something that Sei had knitted, but she wanted that familiarity and companionship and if it were to involve into something more, then she would let it...

It had taken some time, but when Shimako finally found the courage to air her troubles to her Onee-sama, it seemed her Onee-sama had someone else to keep her interest in: Yumi Fukuzawa. Even though it was impossible to hate Yumi, for she was such a nice and sweet girl, Shimako found her herself being jealous of the pixie-like girl.

Sei was always looking out for Yumi and if needed, would stand in as a substitute Onee-sama for the girl when she was having trouble with Sachiko or really anything for that matter. To an extent, Shimako wasn't _that_ peeved about it because she knew Sei was just helping out a friend, something she would do for any of them, even if it meant facing the wrath of Yoshino if she ever came near Rei.

But then there was Sei's constant flirtation and those hugs that a lesser person would have called groping, and Shimako drew a blank as to why she was jealous about that. It wasn't like Sei couldn't hug her friends, and though Shimako was aware of Sei's sexuality, it wasn't like those hugs meant anything of that nature to the trained eye. But Shimako was still jealous, and it wasn't until the evil pin of realization decided to pop her balloon of naivety, during one her many walks around her family's shrine, that Shimako realized that she had developed feelings for her Onee-sama.

Her beautiful, unattached, intelligent Onee-sama.

To say the shock was minimal would be the understatement of the century. The very foundation she had lived upon shook with the onslaught of this emotion, causing confusion to distort her already hectic mind. Everything she was taught, and more fervently so once she entered Lillian, told her that romantic love was to be between a man and a woman, and even though she didn't disapprove of those who followed against it, she still couldn't see herself in that position.

She had been taught since she had taken her first steps that she was suppose to grow up to be a wife and mother, and even though she had her mind set on becoming a nun at the time, the alternative never seemed to slip her memory. How could she get married now? She didn't want a to a live a life continually lying to people, herself included. But how could she go against everything people expected of her?

That's when Shimako realized why she had come to love Sei. It because she went against everything people expected of her with a coy smile smile that said "I don't care what you think, I'll do whatever the fuck I want." She emitted a strength that Shimako was in awe of, and even though Sei said the same thing to her once, she could never imagine it ever being on the same level as Sei's. Maybe that was one of the reasons why she was so distraught when Sei left: her strength, Shimako's crutch, also left.

It's true that maybe Shimako had come to become a little to dependent on Sei, a decent explanation as to why Sei seem to give an uncaring eye to Shimako whenever she had a problem, rationalizing that by letting Shimako do things on her own, she might become more independent. But wasn't that the whole point of the soeur system?

What really bothered Shimako was that Sei seemed to gravitate to Yumi because she provided something, a breath of fresh air from the staunchly emotionally-guarded people that she usually associated with in the Yamayurikai perhaps. Yumi's face could never hold anything but her honest emotions. Still, why couldn't Sei come to her? She was her petite soeur afterall...

_It's because Yumi can give her something you can't._

Can't? Or not allowed to. Wasn't it the unwritten law of their relationship that they were not allowed to interfere with each other's lives?

Shimako would sometimes wonder if there was a deeper meaning as to why Sei wouldn't get close to her, and the only reason she could come up with was that she reminded Sei of Shiori. Even though Sei never told her what exactly happened between her and Shiori, Shimako had painted the entire story from the small snippets she picked up from her classmates and from the former Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Foetida, now understanding why that when Rosa Foetida first saw Shimako, she had whispered, "just like Shiori." Maybe that's why Sei was distant with her: she didn't want to get hurt again. Or maybe, Shimako was just reaching with both hands for an answer that would solve all her problems. Who knows?

Shimako took another deep breath and released it, only for it come out as a small hiss that caused the girl sitting next to her to give her a quizzical look. Shimako was getting frustrated with these thoughts, as the heavy marks of lead on the paper she was subconsciously taking notes on could attest.

Even now, she would barely get brief calls from her, calls filled with menial talk about each other's lives, and even though they both knew that the other was not alright, they would simply pretend nothing was wrong. Sometimes, when catching an air of loneliness or moroseness in the other's voice, they would give sage advice, masking it as general observations like once when Shimako mentioned that she had gotten a B in her math class, Sei had made the comment that she also received a B in her math class, and then said "Well I guess now I can rise for the eighth time." The comment made Shimako feel a lot better.

When she could feel the end of the conversation coming near, Shimako thought of a millions different things to say, things that would break the wall between them like _I miss you Onee-sama, I feel so lost without you, _anything to hear her voice for a little bit longer. Shimako always wanted to say more, but she couldn't. It was an unsaid law between them: we'll be close enough to understand each other but far enough to not get involved, and even Shimako was afraid of breaking that wall.

How Shimako loathed that impersonal wall of obligated silence. She wanted that wall to be torn down, even if she had to start another Cold War to do so. But it still didn't change the fact that she felt self-conscious to do so. How could she expect Sei to open up to her, if she wasn't willing to open up herself? It wasn't something Shimako was used to, a lack of childhood friends could attest to that, but still, that's what she wanted the most, even if it meant doing something so uncomfortable for her. Sei was well worth it.

"Rosa Gigantea," The soft sound had the same effect as a gunshot to Shimako as she lifted her head up and looked at her classmate, wide-eyed, not only because she had interrupted her thoughts but also because that for a brief moment she believed that the girl was talking to Sei. "Class is over and it has been for ten minutes now." Shimako looked around the room and found it empty. Had she really been that been engrossed in her thoughts?

After saying a quick thank you to the girl and gathering her stuff, Shimako was out of her classroom, still thinking Sei.

_Did she seriously not remember?_

She probably did, thought Shimako as a few tears gathered in her eyes. No. She wasn't going to cry now, epically now that she was walking through the courtyard in public, and had already gained some quizzical looks from the girls that passed her by.

Stopping at the junction right in front of the statue of Maria-sama, where one road lead to the gates and the other to the Rose Mansion, Shimako contemplated briefly if she should go to the Yamayurikai meeting she was most likely already late for. In the end, she decided against it, even though it was highly irresponsible and therefore, highly unlike her to do so. Shimako had no desire to sit through the meeting, trying to keep up the masquerade that everything was alright, and even the idea that Noriko might become worried about her absence, couldn't disparage her from the idea of neglecting her duties. Noriko would understand.

As she walked toward the gates, a sight greeted her that took all her will power not to run to. There, leaning against her yellow Volkswagen Beetle, her coy smile in place, eyes shining with a amusement, was Sei. The ever beautiful Sei.

"Hey Shimako," Sei said playfully as she ran a hand through her hair "miss me?" That was all Shimako could take. The happiness that erupted from inside her chest at seeing that her Onee-sama had remember caused the once restrain tears of sadness to be turned and be released into the form of joyful tears. This was one of the rare times that Shimako was glad that fate had proven her wrong.

"Onee-sama!" Shimako squealed as she ran the last five feet to Sei, giving her the biggest hug she could muster. The sight was not proper for ladies, epically those who had come from Lillian, but Shimako couldn't care in the least. Manners be damned!

Even though surprised at the magnitude of emotion from her petite soeur, Sei held Shimako as she privately relinquished in the warmth that was Shimako, and even though Sei was less obvious about it, she was feeling the same turbulence of emotions inside her. It had been too long.

After awhile, Shimako pulled back from Sei's embrace as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. Sei regarded the beautiful brunette for moment. _She actually thought I forgot. _If Sei was being truthful with herself, she would admit that hurt more than she would ever let on. Did she really leave such a bad image of herself to Shimako?

Sei didn't have enough time to contemplate the thought as she saw the giddiness that was spewing out of Shimako, causing Sei's flirtatious side to rear its head once again.

"If you're this excited, we might as well skip the date, and just head back to my apartment. I just bought some silk sheets, and I've been dieing to use them." The coy grin of Sei's caused not only a released of butterflies in Shimako's stomach, but also a feeling of closeness. This was the first time that she could recall Sei ever flirting with her, and it felt nice. But that didn't mean she was going to let Sei win this round.

"Onee-sama! I'm a lady. You have to jump through a lot more hoops before you get me to perform." Shimako said it so subtly, like what she said wasn't the most salacious thing Sei had ever heard from the usually docile girl, that it caused Sei to wonder if she had imagined it all. The twinkle in Shimako's eyes told her that yes Shimako had, in fact, said what Sei believed she had said.

"Besides," Shimako said, a small smirk etching her features, "Maria-sama is always watching."

It took a moment for Sei to catch her bearings after the flirtatious spout Shimako had given. Had her petite soeur always been like this? No, Sei couldn't recall a time when Shimako had ever shown this side of her, but Sei was liking it more and more with each minute that passed. Still, she wasn't going to let Shimako win this round.

"Sometimes, I think she's a perv."

"Onee-sama!" Shimako said, scandalized that Sei could ever say such a thing, epically at a Catholic school no less, but as she thought more about it, she wasn't surprised. Instead of feeling the obligated need to chastise her Onee-sama on behalf of the nuns at school, Shimako let the giggles she was restraining to come forth her lips. Sei smiled at her handiwork, thinking _one point for Sei Satou. _

After a tranquil silence surrounded them, Sei couldn't shake the fact that her petite had changed quite a bit. No longer was she so shelled from the outside world that every emotion she displayed was as cryptic as the hieroglyphs in the pyramids, now she seemed more open and that morose air that usually hung about her seem to be lighter, and when did she start giggling? It seemed that maybe her tough love did work, Sei thought with a smile. Maybe Shimako had matured enough for Sei to tell her...

Breaking herself from that train of thought, Sei said "oh, by the way I got these for you" as she opened the door of her car to grab the gift, only for it to be revealed as a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

"Flowers?" Sei couldn't quite place what she had heard in Shimako's voice but she liked to think of it as a combination of surprise and awe. She handed them to her, and the scene caused by Shimako taking a whiff of the flowers would forever be in Sei's memory. She wanted to remember making Shimako this happy.

"Whites roses to be exact. I was going to get you red ones but I think these suit you better, don't you think?" Sei said as a genuine smile graced her lips.

Shimako had to stop herself as the tears welled up in her eyes once again. Even though it was a subtle jab at Sachiko, Shimako understood what Sei was trying to say. Sei was honestly happy that Shimako had rejected Sachiko's rosary, even though both of them knew she never would have taken it, and allowed Sei to be her grande soeur. Sei didn't have to utter the words 'happy anniversary'; Shimako understood that today commemorated a special day for the both of them. All the doubt that from before seemed to have disappear, and Shimako wondered briefly why she had been so worried.

She was truly happy.

"Yes," Shimako breathed happily as she forced her eyes away from the flowers to look into Sei's gray eyes, hoping to convey every single emotion she was feeling."Better than red ones ever could."


End file.
